I find myself mostly happy in mid-adult life. Kids are doing well, days are filled with lots of activity. Sadly, time passes quickly. Our family is strong. My Wife is wonderful. I am thankful for each day we get together. Like anyone else, we want things, but actually need very few.
Despite all of this, another side of me remains restless. It is the side that wonders each day about far too many things. Things could be better, if there were only a bit more time. This side is greedy. It wants to do, change, act.
While I have no guilt over this, the tension grows strong at times. Knowing things could be so, is often more painful than the sweet bliss ignorance and distraction bring.
Why must we spend so much time on the little things?
It seems to me, most rational people I know, would consider this a selfish question. Why not spend time on the little things? They are, after all, those that matter most right? Somehow, here on this quiet Sunday morning, a part of me remains unconvinced.
Which part you might ask? The part that reads the news and wonders at the apathy most folks display over the trials our failed administration continues to bring, increasing corporate influence on our lives, the present day fight for digital freedom and the ongoing erosion of our values and culture --all for the mighty dollar. All of it apparently fueled by a growing movement to distraction.
A quiet battle rages within me each day. What is the future worth? What about the now? How many good ideas are washed under the ever changing sea of everyday life? Should we all work harder to stem the tide, or ride safely working to take best advantage of our present course?
From my point of view, the waters grow rough. Perhaps this is a matter of perception. If I were to spend a bit less time working to understand the issues, would perception then become reality? Calmer waters lie for those willing to seek them, but at what cost?
As a kid, I often heard the saying; "Pick your Battles." For years I have dismissed the simple wisdom inherent in such popular nuggets. The march of time and the color of experience brings a new clarity to these simple words hard to imagine as a kid. I wonder how I will explain what I understand today to my own? Will they remember and reconsider when the time is right for them?
There is no guilt in inaction, if all that can be done is being done. I tell myself this today, and believe what I say. Family first, then community, then nation, all under God --for those of us that applies to.
The selfish ones are those working too hard for their own gain at the expense of the rest of us. I remind myself of that when I look with envy on others with more than I have. My hope lies in the numbers. Perhaps their are enough of us to continue to make a difference where we can, working hard to find one another and find strength in that while we work to keep the ever growing tide at bay.